Relationships

Dealing with a Broken Heart

Mumbai-breakup

I woke up this morning to an alarm on my phone letting me know that today is the 2 year anniversary of my first date with my now ex-boyfriend. It’s so strange to think that exactly 2 years ago, I didn’t even know that I was just starting out on the greatest 2 years of my life, only to be ended by the biggest heart break in my life. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 2 1/2 weeks ago, after he met someone else while travelling for work.

Break-ups are hard, excruciatingly hard I won’t try to sugar-coat it. I have always tried to look at each hard time as a learning opportunity for myself. I have thought hard about what lesson I was to gain from this one, and I have realized it was the lesson to never take anything for granted.

Never take a single kiss, hug or touch of the hand from the one you love for granted, because you never know when it will be your last one. You will find yourself regretting each time you pushed them away, whether in jest or anger, because those are moments you will never get back. Always stop and savor each one as the treasure in time it is, because no matter what, one day they will end.

Never go to bed angry, because you never know which lying in their arms is your last. You may feel so safe and loved in those arms, but one day they may not be there for you. You may take for granted those good night texts you receive letting you know he’s thinking of you before he drifts off, but one day your phone will stand silent. So forgive quickly, because moments spent in anger are moments of joy and love being lost, with no way to make up.

Never take for granted all the little things they do in their own way to show they care. You may be looking for the big, grand gestures of love and miss them. Things like making sure your car stays maintained, carrying in the heavy groceries and trimming your cats claws because it makes you nervous. All these things were done because he loved you and was trying to show he cared. One day however, you will have to do these things yourself, but please don’t leave it until then to realize how much he did for you.

Those big grand gestures of love you may have been expecting, belong in the movies. They aren’t real, but what is real is the time you have to spend with and treasure your loved one. So stop waiting for him to show up with a big fancy bouquet of roses, or take you out to a fancy expensive restaurant, and tell him you love him exactly the way he is and for everything he has ever done.

Never let a single opportunity to kiss, hug, cuddle or say a sincere thank you go by, because one day those opportunities will end. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that you will regret each and every one of those opportunities you missed.

It doesn’t matter if you have been together a month, two years or 20 years, they can and will be gone someday. So forgive quickly, treasure them as the wonderful and amazing person they are, never take them for granted and love them with all your heart

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One thought on “Dealing with a Broken Heart

  1. Hi MK10pL, I too have a broken heart. Similar to you, shy of 23 months, he decided to call is quits and state: we would be better suited as friends. Our relationship ended three weeks today. Was there another? Not sure? Did he travel for business, yes, could there have been another, not sure? I understand your need to reflect on the small gestures. His small gestures were making sure the house was warm for me, open fireplace, tea light candles, wearing my favourite aftershave and body wash. I too never got the flowers or chocolates. In fact, I was the one that would bring him the chocolates – I introduced him to chili chocolate. He loved it, so I would bring him a block every Wednesday, our date night.

    The point to this reply is, while I understand and appreciate the need to remember the good times, my situation has left me confused.

    He left a 10 year relationship with a woman older than him, no children, no marriage. Towards the end of their relationship, they decide to buy two small breaded dogs. They shared custody of the two dogs. One died before I came onto the scene. I too have a dog, so “being good” to his dog at his insistence was not an issue. I showered that dog with treats and lots of attention. However, the dog took priority over all that we did or didn’t do – we couldn’t go away on weekends because he had the dog staying over, the dog had to take pride and place on the couch which meant no cuddle time for us!

    He had a set of rules that I had to follow: no calling, just texting. No unscheduled visits (we didn’t live together), no arriving before the arranged time …. and so many more. So, why did I stay with him? Because I fell in love! I thought if I just showed him how much I loved him, have him spend time with my family (his parents died and has an estranged relationship with his siblings) he would see how right we were for each other and the world of love and warmth I had to offer.

    On reflection, I was the driver of this relationship in that I wanted it to work, he preferred to be the back-seat driver barking the instructions, but never wanting to take the wheel. Why?

    I admire you MK10pl for seeing the positives. Perhaps in time, I too will learn whatever lesson this relationship has to teach me.

    Like

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